That Don’t Impress Me Much

 March 28, 2008

Ahhhh…I’m sitting here, enjoying a beautiful spring morning, drinking my favorite coffee. It’s a great start to the weekend.

And I’ve been dying to write this blog since yesterday afternoon. 🙂

Yesterday, I was fiddling with my computer, for some reason it wouldn’t connect to the internet, I could log onto Yahoo Messenger and MySpace Messenger, but not the internet.

While I was trying to figure all this out, a message window popped up. I’d talked to this guy a few times before, so I started having a conversation.

 Mom, you may not want to read this one

 We’ll call him Steve to protect his not-so-innocence.

 Steve asks me if I still have my man. (Last time we talked, I was persuing a relationship with someone.)

I reply no.

 “When are we going to hook up then?”

 Okay, I’ve been in the dating scene for awhile now, and “hooking up” is one of those phrases I’m not quite sure about. To me, the connotation has never been a good one. So I do ask him what that means.

 “Meeting for drinks.”

 Ahhh, okay. I can handle that.

I throw out a couple of ideas, then he asks me if we’re going to get lucky after a few drinks. Apparently, this affects where we’re meeting and when.

This is what I ask, “So tell me something. Does that really work with women?” (I figure this is a good time to do some research.)

 “Yes, most of the time.”

 I’m surprised at this, “And what kind of woman does this work on?”

 “Well, most women after they see the size of my package.”

 Hmmmmm. Okay. I try to wrap my mind around how this comes up in a conversation during drinks. Does he show up in a trenchcoat? Does he say “Excuse me while I whip this out?” and lay it on the table/bar like a cocktail weinie? (Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.)

I don’t get it.

I politely tell him that’s just not going to happen.

 “I can promise you, you won’t be disappointed.” he assures me.

 “Honey,” I tell him, “I’m already disappointed.”

 He doesn’t get it though. He is sure that I will be very interested in what’s between his legs.

I tell him, it’s not what between his legs that I’m interested in, it’s what’s between his ears. And a sense of humor, and a sense of respect, and a knowledge of how to treat women.

He tells me that he’s interested in all that too, but before he makes a commitment, he needs to be sure we’d be compatible.

Yeah right.

I tell him that I want a commitment and he logs off without even saying goodbye.

Hmmm…Apparently, the “C” word works on guys like this like garlic works on vampires and sends them running away.

I’ll have to remember that little tidbit. That’s good to know.

I may just throw that word around next time I’m talking to someone I’m not quite sure about.

How about, “Hmmm…I bet that project takes a lot of COMMITMENT.”?

Or, “It sounds like you’re really COMMITTED to golf.”?


Maybe I should be COMMITTED.

After this conversation, I posted a bit of this on my favorite advice website. I guess I just needed validation that there are gentlemen out there who know how to treat a lady. Luckily, many men responded positively. But it still made me think.

Is it a generational thing? This guy is in his twenties. Then I thought about two of my guy friends who are both 25. I can’t imagine either of them approaching a woman like that. Not that they wouldn’t make an innuendo or two, but never as blantant as this guy.

And then there’s guys in their thirties I’ve known who act this way. They’re a bit more subtle, but their motives are the same.

So apparently, it’s not an age thing. It’s a personality thing. And I can’t believe it actually works on women.

It sure didn’t work on me.

For now, I’m off to continue rearranging my furniture and cleaning my castle.

Here’s to Spring Breaks, weekends, and commitment!


I’m out!

*Like what you read? Check out my Myspace blog….


2 thoughts on “That Don’t Impress Me Much

  1. Hilarious! I’m leaving this up on my laptop so my fiancee (Steve) can read it.

    And, yes, we have the same name but fortunately my Steve doesn’t feel like the size of his package determines his luck with women. 🙂

    -Alisha- (still howling with laughter)

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