“Cast me gently
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight”
–Sarah McLachlan, “Answer”
Prepare yourself my friends for a truly philosophical blog……..I know, I know…crazy, huh?
For the last few days I’ve had something on my mind. I’ve pondered it, pushed it away, came back to it, pondered some more, and still this issue remains.
I was reminded again of this problem last night, when I heard this song. I guess I was in a mellow mood because I had some Sarah playing while I played around on some blog sites.
I have heard “Answer” many times. I LOVE Sarah McLachlan. Her lyrics are beautiful and expressive, and her voice is like butterscotch. Her music is relaxing and calm.
Last night, while I was listening, I heard the lyrics and again. I was reminded AGAIN of the issue that’s been plaguing my mind like these damn mosquitoes we have here. It just won’t go away, no matter how much I swat at it, and leaves a bite that keeps itching.
I realized the problem is that on this particular issue, I’ve never chosen to fight. I’ve always given up or given in, even when giving up wasn’t what I wanted to do. I do this every time this situation arises and every time I get the same result. Wasn’t it Einstein that said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting different results”? Am I insane?
Don’t bring the straight-jacket after me just yet though.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step to sanity.
Or something like that.
What would happen if I chose to fight this particular battle? Or is it like one of my advice site buddies said, “Sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war?”
I’m definitely on the losing side of this particular war, if a love life can be considered a war. 🙂 So losing the battles isn’t doing me any good.
So when does someone know when to retreat, when to surrender, or when to dig in and fight?
And should I finally dig in and fight?
What is the answer?
I don’t know yet. Part of me wants to go back and fight, and part of me wants to retreat. I’m tired of fighting the same battle over and over again. But, if fighting the battle means that I win the war and get the guy that I want, won’t it be worth it?
Good questions. Something I’ll definitely have to ponder some more.
Here’s to a brief moment of philosophy amidst all my goofy ramblings. 🙂
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