The Funnel Returns

It’s time to reinstate “The Funnel”.  After a two-year hiatus. It’s time to dust it off, patch it up, and try to mold it back into some kind of funnel-like shape. At the end of my man-hunt two years ago, I think I kicked it, threw it, and stomped on it a few times.

What is “The Funnel”?

 Introduced to me by one of my very good friends, the funnel is a potential mate filtering device.  When you are dating, you take all the guys you meet and put them in the funnel. Slowly, as you get to know them, you filter them out, leaving the good matches in.

Your ultimate goal is to have one good match left in the end, after you’ve sorted the rest out.

My funnel experience didn’t work out too well the first time. I did get a good book out of it, one that will be published some day. And I learned alot of lessons in the process.

Last time, I’d meet a guy and throw him in the funnel. It didn’t matter if he didn’t really want to be in there, and that he would try continuously to crawl out. If he was male, was breathing, and attractive, he was in my funnel.

This time, there will be rules and a selection process. Too much thought? I don’t think so. I think there needs to be more forethought before throwing guys willy-nilly in the funnel.

My first rule?

No previous funnel inhabitants will be allowed back in the funnel. This will only be a problem for one funnel guy, but I think I can work on that.

My second rule?

No guy will be permitted back in the funnel after being sifted out. Major problem in first funnel experience. I allowed too many second and third chances.

My third rule?

No guys from D.J.’s, my neighborhood hang-out, will be allowed in the funnel. My Prince Charming is not in D.J.’s. If he was, I would’ve found him by now.

And the last rule….

Only serious candidates will be thrown into the funnel. It’s not a gumbo. You can’t just throw all these people in the pot and expect something good to come of it. Only quality ingredients will be allowed.

Four rules are good. That’s one of the first things they teach you in college. Have no more than 3 or 4 rules. 🙂

Those are easy for me to remember anyway.

So, are there any funnel guys yet?

Not really.

Am I going to write about it like I did “All I Want”?

Oh, you betcha.


What’s wrong with writing a sequel?

I’m sure my experiences will be just as entertaining as the first time around.

For now, I’m off to fill my funnel!


I’m out!

6 thoughts on “The Funnel Returns

  1. Thanks, Annmarie, and thanks Sara. The funnel could be like a colander, but a funnel’s more fun. 🙂

    Think beer funnel for dating. 🙂

  2. You should definitely drive down. Don’t know of anything specific going on this weekend, but all you need in New Orleans is a Hurricane (the drink I mean) and a po-boy ad you have yourself a fun weekend!

  3. I wonder how many times I’ve been in a “funnel”. This analogy is like panning for gold, only a few nuggets are worth keeping…or something along those lines right? Interesting article.


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