A couple of weeks ago I posted a blog about relationships, I said that being in a relationship was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And that’s still true. In some of my past relationships it’s always been “it’s my way or the highway” and that was true on both parts; mine and the guy. We’d fight, break up, get back together, and the cycle would continue.
Compromise has never been easy for me in relationships. I guess when you’re a single mom for a long time you just get comfortable with making decisions. It really is your way because that’s the only way it can be.
Here’s an example.
Last year around this time I started dating a contractor and began redecorating my house. Well, the relationship fizzled (apparently I’m not very good with men with small kids) and I was left with several projects unfinished. A half painted kitchen being one of those projects.
I decided over spring break that instead of hanging out on the beach with some friends of mine, I should stay home and finish. The main reason for this is my parent’s coming for a visit in late May.
I went to Home Depot to look for some color ideas. Something to go along with some tile I wanted for my backsplash. After much wishy-washing and going back and forth, I decided on a green. I find a picture in a Southern Living magazine of a kitchen that I like and the cabinets are the same green.
I asked BF, who lives in the house and has to live with the colors I choose what he thinks, “I don’t care.” he tells me.
Okay, we’re going with the green.
We’re on our way to Home Depot when he tells me, “I really don’t like green”
“I really don’t like green.”
“Ok, well what color do you like?” I ask him.
“Maybe A wine color.”
I pick out a few colors, ask him which one he thinks is the best.
“I don’t care.”
I have the paint man mix me up a gallon.
“Here’s your purple.” he tells me.
I get it home, open it up, sure enough. It’s kinda the color of eggplant.
I decide to give it a try. I paint a little of it on the kitchen drawer. I let it dry.
I hate it.
I now have a gallon of eggplant colored paint and have no idea what I’m going to do with it.
I think for a little bit, pull out a couple more magazines and find a kitchen I like with red cabinets. I ask again. “Do you like this color?”
“Yes. It is”
“Whatever you think.”
“Okay, we’re going with the red.”
I run back to Lowe’s get the red and start painting. And actually I really love the color. It reminds me of Sooner red which is really kind of funny since I live with a Tiger fan.
We’re in Home Depot a couple of nights ago to pick up some more paintbrushes (my kitchen project has now become the never ending kitchen project) and I decide to look at some kitchen countertops.
The first one we get to is a beautiful kitchen. I love it. It has glass cabinets, honey colored cabinets doors, and even the countertops are pretty.
“I like it” BF tells me. “I especially like the green walls.”
This green is the same green color I wanted to paint my cabinets.
“You’re kidding right?” I ask him.
“No,” I really like it…What?” He asks as I walk away.
“I’m about to choke you.” I tell him and at this point, I’m only half joking.
Green. I make my Homer Simpson noise and head to the paint brushes.
As a single girl, the decision would be easy. There would be no discussing, I’d simply make up my mind and go with it. Right or wrong, it was my decision to make. And giving up that freedom has been hard. I’m not very good at it.
I guess it’s one of the lessons I need to learn. I can not be in control all the time. And it can’t be “my way or the highway” all the time.
Unless you’re talking about paint.
For now, I’m off to do some more painting. Go Sooner Red!
Here’s to learning new lessons and home improvements!