My Mid-Mid Life Crisis

For the past few weeks, I’ve been wrestling with a certain decision. I’ve gone back and forth, back and forth, with no real conclusion. During this process, I’ve asked for advice and one particular piece of advice that to be honest has completely freaked me out.

One of my friends asked me, “Alisha, where do you want to be in the next five years?”?

It seems like a pretty harmless question doesn’t it?

And I didn’t think much about it until I realized that in five years, I’m going to be knocking on the big 4-0. I’ll be 39 and some change.

Forty.

4-0.

Turning 30 didn’t freak me out at all. In fact, my thirties have been my best years so far. I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve settled in to my own skin and become (for better or worse) more of who I am. I’ve done things that I was old enough to know better to do, but had a damn good time doing them anyway.

But 40?

Yeah, I can already tell that I don’t think I’m going to handle that one well.

It’s already got me thinking. Where DO I want to be in five years?  What do I want to be doing?

In five years, Keith will be 21. An adult and pretty much on his own. I’ll have raised a child already and have a freedom I’ve never known. 

Where do I want to be?

Do I want to be still in education?  Do I want to be writing?  Do I want to be married?  Do I want to be in Lafayette? In Louisiana? 

Would I want to be tied down with so much newly found freedom?

It’s alot to think about. And when I think about where I want to be, and when I figure that out, then I have to start thinking about how I’m going to get there.

All I’ve really figured out is where I am now, is not where I want to be.

So, where DO I want to be?

Hmmmm…Right now?

Right now, I want to be mixing me up a blody mary and enjoying the rest of this lazy Sunday.  For now, the questions and the thinking can wait.

Cheers and Peace!

I’m out!

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