I’m Alisha…And I’m Still A Dating Idiot

Thursday, March 10th
39 days left.

Already I feel more successful than I did when I tried to find a man in forty days. It’s been like 4,000 days since I started that quest and I’m no closer to finding a good man than I was four years ago. Maybe not 4,000 days. Maybe it just seems like it’s been that long.

Four years later, I’m still a dating idiot. Hell, it’s been so long since I’ve been asked out on a real date, this is how one text conversation went recently.

Me: I had a good time hanging out the other night.
Friend: Me too. Maybe we should make a date of it.
Me: A date? Are you sure you have the right number?
Friend: Yes.
Me: You know who this is, right?
Friend: Yes.

See? I get asked out on an actual date, and I don’t even know what to answer. I’m still a dating idiot. Still single 4.000 days later. Give or take a few.
Let me refresh some memories……

There was the time I got into the WRONG truck after a concert. That was soooo not my fault. My keeper definitely wasn’t paying attention that night. I don’t know who was more scared, the guy who lost me, the guy who opened his truck door to find ME in there, or ME!!!

What about the guy who showed up at the WRONG restaurant? Yep. After I’d given directions at least ten times.

He says: Do I turn?
I say: No, stay on Johnston.
He says: What about here, do I turn here?
I say: No, stay on Johnston.
He says: Wait, are you sure I don’t turn?
I say: No, stay on Johnston.

Then, there was the guy who was the WRONG size. His poor little feet didn’t touch the ground, but his face sure touched a part of me on that goodbye hug. He must’ve liked that because while walking me to my car he invited me to meet his parents. In another state.

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

And I could go on. But then, I’d probably just be depressed. Or start drinking. Or both.

So, how does being single relate to making life simple?

If I have more time for ME, I have more time for dating.

If I am more relaxed and less stressed, I have more time for someone else.

See, this Lent thing is really starting to work out for me.
And I don’t really feel like I’m giving up a thing. For now I’m off to shop the personals. I’m sure I can find some good stuff to report on from there!

Then, it’s time to figure out what I’m going to do for ME tonight.

Here’s to…..well hell, here’s to ME!
Peace! I’m out!

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