Have MYSELF a Merry Little Christmas

A few years ago I started this quest. All I wanted for Christmas was a real good man. How silly of me to think that I could find such a thing in such a short time. Not that I don’t think there are good men out there. I know there are good men. I just can’t seem to find MY good man.


I remember when I was on this quest to find a good man and I sent out a test text with a Happy Thanksgiving message. I analyzed, journaled, and analyzed again the responses I got. Man, I spent waaaaay too much time on that. Of course I didn’t get a response from the one person I wanted. That would’ve been too easy. My book would’ve been written. Or finished, anyway. 


Four years later, the book is still pretty much unfinished. I still haven’t found my real good man. And at this point, I’ve really stopped looking. I’ve been through the All I Want for Christmas is The Right Man, All I Want for Christmas is No Man, and this year, I’ve decided that All I Want for Christmas is ME.


In the last few years, I’ve been to hell and back multiple times. Now, I just want to enjoy the calm after so many storms. I want to sit on my porch with my dogs, a cup of coffee, and a good book. I want to enjoy time with the multitude of friends I’m so blessed to have. I want to be thankful that I have a job I love going to again, with all it’s new challenges and new responsibilities.


That’s what I want for Christmas. Not a man. I want to have MYSELF a merry little Christmas. I want to take small moments every day to appreciate myself, my new life I’ve created for myself (without a man), and my many blessings.


That’s the best Christmas present I can think of. The Queen finally treating HERSELF like the Queen she is. 🙂


For now, I’m out! I have a porch, a cup of coffee, and a good book calling my name.






Where Have all The Good Men Gone?

This is why I’m still Single #2

Where have all the good men gone?

They’re not on any online dating sites, that I can assure you.

Granted, two of my friends found love online, and I’m extraordinarily happy for them. And I did find one guy worth dating, but that was many years ago. Since then, what have I found?

*The guy who wanted to take me to meet his parents after we met for a drink.

*The guy who wanted to bring his mom on our first date.

*The guy who raised dogs and drowned the puppies that weren’t worth anything.

*Or how about the guy with anger management issues who wondered if his meds were working?

*I’ve met every player and wanna-be-player in the parish. The guys who impress you by taking you some place really great on a first date, then for the second date they want you to come to their place and watch a movie. Uh, huh, right.

*On the flip-side of the player, what about Mr. Too Ready to Commit? The guy who calls five times a day, just to see what you’re doing?

Yep, I’ve found them all.

Where are the normal guys? I do have many guy friends, and most are normal. Well, pretty normal. If they were truly normal they wouldn’t be my friends. I’ll take semi-normal. I know those guys are out there.

At this point, I’d rather sit through a speech by Barack Obama than endure another dinner and a movie.

Is it just me, or did dating seem so much simpler in our twenties? In our twenties, we met someone, felt a spark, and Presto! We’re in a relationship. In our thirties, it seems so much harder. We meet someone, hope for a spark, and when it doesn’t flame up, we start all over again. Do we tend to over think things? Or again, is that just me?

Right now, it would take more than dinner and a movie to impress me. Be original. My favorite first date was dinner and a drive out to the lake. The stars were shining, the moon reflected off the water, the sounds of the waves and the night insects were the music. A few years later, I almost married that guy. Apparently, originality goes a long way.

Maybe it’s not just someone normal, maybe I’m just looking for that guy that stands out. The guy willing to go that extra mile to impress me.

After all, am I not worthy of an extra mile?

I AM Queen Alisha.


For now, I’m going to do some castle cleaning and enjoy yet another day off.

Here’s to the good men out there! I know you’re there somewhere!


I’m out!

I’m Alisha…And I’m Still A Dating Idiot

Thursday, March 10th
39 days left.

Already I feel more successful than I did when I tried to find a man in forty days. It’s been like 4,000 days since I started that quest and I’m no closer to finding a good man than I was four years ago. Maybe not 4,000 days. Maybe it just seems like it’s been that long.

Four years later, I’m still a dating idiot. Hell, it’s been so long since I’ve been asked out on a real date, this is how one text conversation went recently.

Me: I had a good time hanging out the other night.
Friend: Me too. Maybe we should make a date of it.
Me: A date? Are you sure you have the right number?
Friend: Yes.
Me: You know who this is, right?
Friend: Yes.

See? I get asked out on an actual date, and I don’t even know what to answer. I’m still a dating idiot. Still single 4.000 days later. Give or take a few.
Let me refresh some memories……

There was the time I got into the WRONG truck after a concert. That was soooo not my fault. My keeper definitely wasn’t paying attention that night. I don’t know who was more scared, the guy who lost me, the guy who opened his truck door to find ME in there, or ME!!!

What about the guy who showed up at the WRONG restaurant? Yep. After I’d given directions at least ten times.

He says: Do I turn?
I say: No, stay on Johnston.
He says: What about here, do I turn here?
I say: No, stay on Johnston.
He says: Wait, are you sure I don’t turn?
I say: No, stay on Johnston.

Then, there was the guy who was the WRONG size. His poor little feet didn’t touch the ground, but his face sure touched a part of me on that goodbye hug. He must’ve liked that because while walking me to my car he invited me to meet his parents. In another state.


And I could go on. But then, I’d probably just be depressed. Or start drinking. Or both.

So, how does being single relate to making life simple?

If I have more time for ME, I have more time for dating.

If I am more relaxed and less stressed, I have more time for someone else.

See, this Lent thing is really starting to work out for me.
And I don’t really feel like I’m giving up a thing. For now I’m off to shop the personals. I’m sure I can find some good stuff to report on from there!

Then, it’s time to figure out what I’m going to do for ME tonight.

Here’s to…..well hell, here’s to ME!
Peace! I’m out!

Happy Endings and Unfinished Stories

I remember when I was writing All I Want and I wrote a blog/entry about knowing what I would do with a relationship if I found one.  I compared my hunt to my dog Sammie’s hunt for lizards.  She spends hour after hour, day after day, on the hunt for lizards.  Now, I’m quite sure I know that Sammie DOESN’T know what she’s going to do with that lizard if she finds it. 

Much like I didn’t know what to do with my relationship when I found it.  Or it found me.  Or we found each other. I can’t say we met and fell in love because that’s not how it happened.  In a very When Harry Met Sally kind of way, we had known each other for awhile before the thought of a relationship even crossed our minds.  And I’m not sure it ever really crossed our minds. 

I remember one night thinking, “I think he wants to kiss me.” 

And a couple nights later, he did.

I’d like to add the old cliche’ in “and we were inseparable ever since.”

But, I can’t.  We were inseparable before that, our relationship simply was. 

We did go through that rose colored glass phase, the wart phase, and the Alisha’s freaking out because she’s in a relationship phase. (Yes, that is a phase….one that has caused the tanking of several relationships)

That’s also the same phase as “Alisha’s In A Relationship and Doesn’t Know What to Do With it Phase.”

Luckily, with a lot of communication, compromise, and ALOT of patience, we’ve been able to make it through my neurotic phase as well.  Well, until the next one pops up. Which one would that be?  Hell if I know, I don’t think I’ve ever made it this far in a relationship.  This is a WHOLE new ballgame for me.

Cowboy made me think of my book again.  He just loves it that he has a starring role, and he brings it up every now and then. He asked if my bf had read the book.  I was like, “Ummm….No. I really don’t think he wants to either.” And considering the content, I’m probably right.

Cowboy said I needed to add my bf into my book to give it a happy ending.  For a while, I thought about it.  But, while I was pondering it, Cowboy said to the bartender, “There are no happy endings, only unfinished stories.” 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how profound that statement was.  How much like it was like one of my favorite lines in any novel was, “All endings are actually beginnings” or something like that from The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

I thought about it while we were at the bar. 

I thought about it when we went to Cowboy’s to meet Cowboy.  When I thought of how I had gone to meet Cowboy there because I had such a huge crush on him.  When he had put his arm around me and I wondered if it meant something.

When I dancing with my bf (I really need to come up with an alias for him).  And watching Cowboy dance with other girls. 

When we had to keep our friend from going to get “Buckethead”.  (That’s a WHOLE other story.)

I thought of how right he was.  I can’t say that there was a happy ending with Cowboy.  There was never an ending.  The story simply changed.  It’s unfinished.

Just like me and my bf are unfinished.  A happy ending is still an ending.  And we haven’t ended.  Just like me and Cowboy, our stories have simply changed.

Happy beginnings?  Yes.  Happy adventures?  Yes.  Happy lessons learnd?  Yes. Yes. Yes.

But happy endings?  Definitely not.

Maybe there are no happy endings, maybe they should be called happy beginnings.

“All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time…”….from The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.

For now, I’m off to do some more writing.  Who knows, maybe it’s time to dust off that query letter for All I Want and submit it one more time.  🙂

Peace, ya’ll!

I’m out!


I remember a post I wrote a long time ago about my dog Sammie. Sammie loves to hunt outside. She will spend hours outside with her nose to the ground hunting something. I’ve gone outside I don’t know how many times trying to figure out what it is that she was hunting. I’ve never figured it out. And I don’t think Sammie has either. At one time I compared my hunt for a relationship to Sammie’s search. I was searching for something but not quite sure what it was, and not quite sure what I would do with it if I ever caught it.
And it’s true.
Like Sammie, I was unsure of what it is I was looking for, and I was unsure of what to do with it when I found it. And it’s been a little bit of an adjustment to me lately while I’ve had to figure out just what it is I want to do with this relatively new relationship I’ve found myself in.
Relationships are not easy. I told someone the other day that being in a relationship is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Ironically enough.  I never thought that being single would be easier. But it is.  Is it better? It depends. In my case? It’s not. A good relationship is worth it.
This idea was reiterated when I heard someone say that you choose to love someone and you choose to stay in a relationship. She said that sometimes she thought it would be much easier to walk away than stay and work it out. This was coming from someone who had been in a relationship with the same person for years. 
I was hanging out with some friends of mine the other night, and one of my friends told me that she had never seen me look as good as I did that night. And I attributed a little of that to my relationship. She did too. I’m going to be cheesy for a moment and say that it’s been a long time since I’ve been this happy.
Yes, relationships are hard work, but a good relationship is worth it. It takes good communication, a lot of trust, and a willingness to compromise.  And maybe the hardest thing for me is that willingness to compromise. For a long time, I’ve had the attitude of “it’s my way or the highway” but that doesn’t work in a relationship. And it’s probably one of the harder lessons I’ve had to learn.
It’s about priorities. You make that person a priority and they do the same for you.
It’s quite refreshing actually.
And worth the effort when the effort is returned. 🙂
Here’s to great relationships and spring break and Easter! Let us not forget the true reason for this holiday!
I’m out!

You Might Want Some Wine With This Cheese Part II

Well, five days until Valentine’s Day. It’s a perfect day to continue my cheesy love songs post. And speaking of Valentine’s Day gifts, what are some of your favorite gifts you’ve received, or even given for that matter? As of right now, I have no clue what I’m getting for my Valentine. And if I did, I wouldn’t post it. Who knows which of my posts he reads. If he reads any of them at all. J
Hmmmm…… I guess I have some thinking/shopping to do……

For now, I’ll continue my Top Ten Cheesy Song List

5. “Crazy for You” by Madonna

“Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I’m deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you’ll see “
Puh-leeeze…Does this really happen? And yet, I still know every one of these lyrics.

4. “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias
“(Whispered) Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?
Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?”
This is the only song on my list that truly makes me want to hurl with it’s over-top-sugary-sweetness. Would I tremble if he touched my lips? ROFL….. Jeesh.
3. “From Here to Eternity” by Michael Peterson
“I saved a year for this ring
I can’t wait to see
How it looks on your hand
I’ll give you everything that one woman needs
From a one woman man
I’ll be strong I’ll be tender a man of my word
I will be yours.”
Now, this one is a little less well known than the others, but omygod it always makes me sappy. I think I even tear up a little. Well, maybe I exaggerate just a little. But it always gets an “Awwwww” outta me.

2. “To Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks
“When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I’d go hungry, I’d go blind for you
I’d go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain’t nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love”
Every time I hear this song I think of Harry Connick, Jr. in Hope Floats. That man can feel my love any day.  But, is it cheezy? “I’d go hungry, I’d go blind for you?” Yep. That’s pretty darn cheezy.

1. “Open Arms” by Journey

“Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you’ve come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay”
There’s no way you can have any kind of top love song list without including this song. Cheesy or not. It is simply one of the best love songs there is. In my opinion anyway, and it’s my list so there. You can’t help but get a little starry eyed when you hear those first few notes on the piano and Steve Perry starts with….”Lying beside you, here in the dark, feeling your heartbeat with mine….” Everyone who knows this song and loves it is singing it by the time it gets to “So now I’ll come to you…..”
I think that would make the hardest heart melt, if only just a little bit. J

And that concludes Alisha’s Top Ten Cheesiest Songs.

Feel free to disagree. Feel free to add your own. J

For now, I’m off to burn me a cheezy song CD.

Here’s to Valentine’s Day, cheese, and great music. Well, except for the “Hero” song.
I’m out!

You Might Want Some Wine With This Cheese Part I

Ahhhh…..Valentine’s Day…..
The stores are already stocking the roses, soft cuddly teddy bears, the chocolate, the sweet and sappy cards.
And my usually well controlled cheesy side is running rampant. I have stars in my eyes. I sigh at the silly romantic commercials (Every kiss begins with Kay). It’s just downright ridiculous.
I’m a sap. I’ll admit it. I can’t help myself.
I guess there could be worse things I can be.
So, to satisfy my sappy side, I’ve decided to dedicate this blog to Valentine’s Day and romance in general.
Another one of my musical blogs. 🙂
This one?
Alisha’s Top Ten Sappiest Songs
Here’s a look at the first five.

10. “This Year’s Love” by David Gray
“This years love had better last
Heaven knows it’s high time
And I’ve been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can’t go on”

9. “She’s Got A Way” by Billy Joel
I must be a sucker for simple vocals accompanied by piano.
“She comes to me when I’m feelin’ down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She’s got a way of showin’
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin’
She’s got a light around her
And ev’rywhere she goes a million
Dreams of love surround her ev’rewhere”



8. “Look at You Girl” by Chris Ledoux
Chris Ledoux was highly underrated in my opinion. This is probably one of the simplest and sweetest love songs ever.
“Just look at you, girl
Standin here beside me
Starlight on your hair
Lookin like a dream I dreamed somewhere”

7. “Hypnotize the Moon” by Clay Walker
Country music is synonymous with sap. The song and the video have always been favorites of mine.
“You better run for cover
You better hide your heart
‘Cause once you start to love her
You know you’ll never stop
She shines like a diamond
When she walks into a room
She could charm the stars
Hypnotize the moon.”

6. “Total Eclipse of the Heart”
“Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I’ve got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes”

And the list continues…..My next blog will be the top five sappiest songs. Feel free to add your suggestions.
For now, I’m off to get get some stuff done before we head to see Jr. Melancon play today in Scott. No Whiskey River today my friends, me, Ian, and the Sunday crew are breaking out and checking out something new.
Here’s to sappy music and Sunday afternoons.
I’m out!

Love at First Sight?


I was reading one of my cheesy romances the other day. You know the formula….girl meets boy, sparks fly, they fight, realize they’re made for each other and live happily ever after.

These were some of the first books I ever read, and I really think they warped my mind. I think I read so many of them I thought this was how relationships were supposed to work out.

So for years, I’ve searched for sparks. I’ve searched high and low for that love at first sight feeling, those butterflies, all that stuff. I’ve been convinced that people are fated to be together and when you meet that certain someone you JUST KNOW.

Maybe that does happen. I don’t know. I’ve never experienced love at first sight. And certainly none of my best relationships have come from this. My best relationships (including my current one) have not been love at first sight.
Were (and are, I guess) there sparks? Of course.
But, I think the sparks came (come) from really knowing someone. At least for me. I LOVE dependability. I thrive on it. And I’m at my happiest in a relationship when I’m with someone I know and trust.

Love at first sight?

Maybe lust.

Not love.

I think that’s for the movies, and for the cheesy romances. Will I keep watching these movies, keep reading these cheesy romances? Of course.

Just because I no longer really believe in love at first sight doesn’t mean I don’t believe in romance.

Those are two entirely different things. 🙂

And the most romantic holiday of all is coming up.

What will I be doing this year for Valentine’s Day?

It’s still early, but I already know, I’ll be spending my Valentine’s Day at the Rio parade. My absolute favorite Mardi Gras parade. Well, except for the Endymion parade in New Orleans.

For now, I’m off to rest and relax and read some more cheesy romances. 🙂
Here’s to love at second sight?

Does Age Really Matter?

Ahhhh! A Saturday off! I haven’t had one of these in so long I don’t remember what they’re like! Don’t get me wrong, I love my Saturday job, but sometimes a girl needs some time to relax and play in the yard. Or maybe just play in general. You know, all work and no play makes Soonergirl a very dull girl. 🙂

Yeah, yeah, we all know that Soonergirl MAKES time to play. I don’t think anyone would ever accuse me of being dull. At least I hope not.

What do I have planned for today?

I’m playing in my yard. My poor flowers are drooping and being overrun by weeds. I’m putting out my Halloween decorations, and cleaning up the few remaining limbs from Gustav.

I’m watching the Sooner game. The Sooners are looking good this year! We’re number one on the AP, baby!

I’m going to cook something. I have a craving for chili. I may make a big pot, may invite some friends over, if I get the next item done on my list.

I’m cleaning my house before the crew of COPS show up to film a segment here. It’s a mess. It’s amazing how much doesn’t get done when you work six days a week and you have a fifteen year old who’s nickname should be Pigpen. 🙂

And that’s pretty much a full day. I don’t want to overexert myself on my day off. That would kinda defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it?

Well, I am going to do some writing, but I guess I’ve kinda started with that already.

I have had some interesting news to report on the funnel front. My funnel is empty right now, but as always I’m okay with that. I’ve been trying to keep my funnel reports to a minimum simply because I’ve started to wonder if maybe guys that I’m interested don’t want to be written about. I’ve had a couple guys kind of say something. Actually, when a guy says, “Don’t put this in your blog!” isn’t really kind of saying something is he?

And, I’ve been trying to branch out and write about other things anyway. If I really want to write about my funnel, I darn well will.

So, I’m darn well writing about this.

In the past three weeks, I’ve met two guys. Let’s start with the first guy I met, Guy A. Guy A showered me with attention, is a successful business owner, and hot.

Guy B also showered me with attention, is a great listener, has a good, calm head on his shoulders, and treated me like the princess I am.


One is 21, which even for me who tends to date younger, is too young. And the other is in his 50’s and was only interested in one thing. When he didn’t get it, he disappeared.

What I’ve realized from my experiences is that age doesn’t always equal maturity. It doesn’t automatically mean that a guy that’s older is going to treat you with more respect. I thought that at one time. Guy B treated me with the utmost respect. He respected my personal space boundary lines. He respected my thoughts, my opinions. He listened to me. We talked about everything from living in the country, to the war in Iraq, we even talked about the Holocaust. Do you think Guy A and I discussed half that much? Nope.

Maybe maturity isn’t the word I’m looking for though. Maybe it’s emotional maturity balanced with emotional availability. Was Guy A emotionally available? Nope. Was Guy B? Yes.

Just my luck, huh? Great guy, great connection, cute, EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE, just too darn young.

Go figure. 🙂

But how big of a factor is age in relationships? I have polled my guys and only one has said it’s a big factor. He said when you’re close to the same age you’re closer to being on the same page. You have similar goals. I’m not sure I agree with that one.

I think being on the same page means being in similar spots in life and going the same direction. I don’t think it has anything to do with age. We’re all traveling different paths, we’re all at different spots. We’re all traveling at different speeds. I think it’s more important to find someone you have a connection with and someone with similar goals, thoughts, and morals.

Obviously something is going on with me because those aren’t the only two guys that have shown interest in me. It never ceases to amaze me that it’s when you could really care less about being in a relationship that the men just start coming out of the woodwork.

I was leaving my favorite watering hole Thursday when I stopped to pet Princess, the lounge pet. I was just having a good old time, minding my own business when a guy comes out. Now, I’ve noticed this guy before. He’s a good-looking man. He’s tall, blonde-headed, nicely built, quiet and polite. And he’s not too young or too old. He made it apparent through conversation that he was not attached, I made it apparent also. We talked about our kids. He invited me to the next place they were going, but alas, I had to turn him down. I was leaving because my allergies were acting up. My eyes were watering and itchy, my nose was red,  I was sneezy. I was ready to go home. And I had made plans to watch a movie with one of my friends. He said he’d see me around. I guess we’ll see. He knows where to find me if he’s interested enough to look. 😉 

On that note, as I’m looking out my window and seeing a bright and beautiful fall day, I think it’s time to wrap this up and get outside. I have a day off to enjoy!

Here’s to fall days and days off!


I’m out!

You’re Just Not My Type

I love to watch people. Not in a crazy serial killer way, but people in general just interest me. I like to watch how they behave, how they react to situations, see what kinds of personalities they have.

Maybe I chose the wrong profession. Maybe I should have been a counselor or a therapist. Or maybe not. Maybe I have enough issues on my own. 🙂

I was in my neighborhood bar the other night and I was watching some of the customers. I was watching some of the guys and girls flirt with each other. Something that always intrigues me is seeing who’s interested in who. Not because I’m nosy, but because I think people have definite “types”. I used to think that I didn’t have a type, and maybe I didn’t for awhile, but I definitely do now. I also used to think that types were more about looks, like the old cliche’ “tall, dark, and handsome”. And maybe it does a little bit. I went through my tall, slender, and younger stage. For awhile there, I don’t think I dated or was really interested in someone unless they were five or six years younger than me.

Maybe because we shared the same goal. They were trying to find themselves and so was I.

I don’t think it’s about looks, I think it’s being attracted to someone who’s like you in some way. And as I think about my friends and their relationships, there’s a certain “sameness” that each couple has. It may be similar educational backgrounds, or similar levels of ambition or goals.

I’ve been interested in guys before, and have wondered why they weren’t interested in me. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m intelligent, kinda funny, and not too bad to look at.  But as I’ve gotten to know some of these guys, and have met the women they date, I realized that I’m simply not their type.

What is my type now?

Well, let’s survey the funnel. 🙂 Right now there are four guys in the funnel. One is new, he took the place of the guy I drained over the weekend for a lack of interest. 🙂

Looking at the three that have been in my funnel for awhile, they are all older, have their lives together, know who they are and want they want. Two of them own their own businesses. And (drum roll please……) all three seem to be emotionally available!

You can hold your applause until the end of the blog….

He he!

I guess my type really has changed. 🙂

For now, I’m off to enjoy a lazy Sunday after a hard night of work last night. 🙂

Here’s to finding our own types!


I’m out!

By the way, I’d like to say a special thank you to Sara for giving me my first ever blog award and my first blog link! For those of you who are fans of New Orleans, check out her blog!