That Was Then

This weekend we acquired a Wii. After two days of Wii Bowling and Wii Golf, the adult members of our household had to take a break yesterday. This is mainly because we are old and out of shape. Our bodies were protesting in parts that we had forgotten existed.

So, I decided to head up to the little hangout by my house yesterday to see what was going on. One of my favorite regulars was there so I made my way over to sit with him, easing into my chair. He asks me if we partied for New Year’s, and I told him we had gotten the Wii and we were so busy with that we lost track of time and almost missed New Years.

He looks at me funny, cocks his head and says, “Alisha, I didn’t know you did that.”

And then I realize that he thinks I said, “Weed”, not “Wiii”.
I burst out laughing because of course I’m not into that. So I explain to him that I meant the game system Wii. And we talk about that for awhile. He had heard about it before, but didn’t realize how physical it is. And we discuss what a good thing it is for kids these days to get them active.

He tells me that he got an email recently about a dad who said he punished his kid and made him go play outside. And I had thought this before, but it really hit home how different things are from when my generation grew up. Even a little different from when my son was growing up.

When I was growing up, going outside wasn’t punishment, it was something you just did.

In fact, in the summertime, you played outside because it was cooler outside than it was inside. You found a big tree with lots of shade and you found something to do. The only rules I remember was, be in the yard before dark, and if mom yells for you, then you better be within hearing range and your rear end better be scooting toward your home soon.

Of course, I grew up in a very small town where everyone knew everybody. And if you were doing something wrong, your phone was ringing before you even made it home.

Twenty years later, we’re buying game systems for our kids to keep them active. Nintendo and Super Mario Bros have come a loooong way baby!

But have WE? Good question. And definitely something to think about.

Something I will ponder later.

For now, I’m off to be as lazy as possible on my last day of Christmas Break.

Peace! I’m out!

My Mid-Mid Life Crisis

For the past few weeks, I’ve been wrestling with a certain decision. I’ve gone back and forth, back and forth, with no real conclusion. During this process, I’ve asked for advice and one particular piece of advice that to be honest has completely freaked me out.

One of my friends asked me, “Alisha, where do you want to be in the next five years?”?

It seems like a pretty harmless question doesn’t it?

And I didn’t think much about it until I realized that in five years, I’m going to be knocking on the big 4-0. I’ll be 39 and some change.



Turning 30 didn’t freak me out at all. In fact, my thirties have been my best years so far. I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve settled in to my own skin and become (for better or worse) more of who I am. I’ve done things that I was old enough to know better to do, but had a damn good time doing them anyway.

But 40?

Yeah, I can already tell that I don’t think I’m going to handle that one well.

It’s already got me thinking. Where DO I want to be in five years?  What do I want to be doing?

In five years, Keith will be 21. An adult and pretty much on his own. I’ll have raised a child already and have a freedom I’ve never known. 

Where do I want to be?

Do I want to be still in education?  Do I want to be writing?  Do I want to be married?  Do I want to be in Lafayette? In Louisiana? 

Would I want to be tied down with so much newly found freedom?

It’s alot to think about. And when I think about where I want to be, and when I figure that out, then I have to start thinking about how I’m going to get there.

All I’ve really figured out is where I am now, is not where I want to be.

So, where DO I want to be?

Hmmmm…Right now?

Right now, I want to be mixing me up a blody mary and enjoying the rest of this lazy Sunday.  For now, the questions and the thinking can wait.

Cheers and Peace!

I’m out!

This Is What I Get for Reading

Recently I’ve recommited myself to losing weight.  Right now, in South Louisiana it’s waaay to hot to do my preferred form of exercise which is walking.  I’m too much of a girly-girl.  I don’t like to sweat.


So, I’ve started riding my exercise bike. I’ve got one of those reclining bike things that you can read a magazine or a book on while you pedal away to your heart’s content, or your legs give out.  Whichever happens first.

I’m a big fan of personal growth books.  I love to read books about relationships, money matters, etc.  And yesterday, I just happened to pick up the Love Smart book by Dr. Phil. Of course, I’m not really looking for a new relationship.  I’m quite content with the one I’ve got, but the last couple of chapters are about how to keep your relationship from becoming stagnant.

I’m reading through the chapter and one of the techniques he lists for keeping your relationship healthy is to write love notes to each other. Okay.  Seems like a good idea to me.  I haven’t been cheesy and done something like write a love note in years. 

So, I whip out my pen and paper and write something up real quick.  I have to go into work and we’ve planned to bbq later in the evening so I leave the note with his name on it and smiley faces on it on top of the bbq stuff and later head to work.

He comes to meet me at work, thanks me for the note, calls me “SuperCheese” and we head home.

We start getting the stuff ready to bbq and something catches my eye on the ceiling.  It’s a HUGE bug.  South Louisiana doesn’t have regular size bugs, they have these things that look like they belong on a sci-fi movie.  It looks big enough to grab up a chair and join us at the table.  It looks like something Ian will have to take a bat to to get rid of.

“Kill it, Ian!” I tell him.

He reaches on the counter, grabs the love note I’ve written him and begins to try to kill this predator that has taken up residence on our ceiling.

I’m looking at him like he’s lost his mind. He kills the bug, and looks at me triumphantly. 

“What?” he looks at me, his smile fading as he realizes I’m unhappy.

“You used my letter to kill that bug.”

“And?  What else was I supposed to use?”

I look down at the sandals I had discarded as I’d entered the house. “How about a shoe?”

“I can’t win with you, can I?”

I look at him, THAT look still on my face.

“Ugh, Alisha, stop being such a…a…a….WOMAN!”

Now, I can’t do anything but laugh. What else was I supposed to be?

I guess it’s true.  Men really are from Mars and women are really from Venus.

He was happy to be the hero, to save me from the evil creature on the ceiling.  I was upset because of his use of weapon.  How many times has this scenario played out over the centuries?

Caveman:  “Man bring home sabertooth tiger for family.  Food.”

Cavewoman: “Did you really have to kill it that way?  Poor thing.  Did it suffer?”

Caveman:  Ugh.

Knight:  “I’ve come to rescue you fair maiden, from the enemy.”

Fair Maiden (as she looks around at the fallen captors around her):  “You expect me to walk through that?”

Knight:  Ugh.

20th Century Fisherman to Girlfriend: “Okay now. Reel the fish in reallll slow.”

Girlfriend reels in the fish real slow, gets it to the bank. “Throw it back.”

Fisherman:  “What?”

Girlfriend:  “Throw it back.  He looks like he’s suffering.”

Fisherman:  Ugh.

See what I mean?

Something tells me things aren’t likely to change anytime soon either.  🙂


I’m out!

Good Advice

I’m one of the most hard headed people I know.  There are only two people I’ve ever met who actually are more stubborn than I am. You cannot tell me what to do.  And one of the worst things someone can do is to tell me what to do. Then, I will more than likely do the exact opposite. I don’t know why this is, but I’ve grown to accept it over time.  I do listen more than I used to, but ultimately at the end of the day, I’m going to do what I want to do.

There are two people in my life who seem to know this well.  One is my dad, the other is my friend Christy.  Whenever Dad gives me advice, he doesn’t tell me what I should do, he’ll tell me a story, a joke, a piece of wisdom that relates to what it is that he wants me do.  One example of this is when he told me the shad story.  When I was going through my divorce and dating men that were butt heads,  he told me, “Alisha, there’s a type of fish out there that you can’t do anything with, you can’t cook it because it stinks and there’s nothing you can do, it will always stink.  You might as well just throw it back.  Alisha, stop trying to bring home shad.”

Hmmmm…I definitely stopped and listened to that one. 

It happened twice again this week, only not through my dad.  One was a blog that my friend Dana wrote.  She wrote about cleaning out the b.s. in her life, and I thought how true that was for my life too.  I had so much chaos going on around me that it was starting to affect me.  I was stressed out, angry, and ready to pull my hair out because of drama that wasn’t my drama. 

It was b.s.

So what did I do?  I started clearing it out.  I think not only do we spring clean our houses, I think we need to spring clean ourselves sometimes and we don’t do that.  At least I don’t.  I let things accumulate, little dust pockets of drama, until the mess simply becomes overwhelming.  When all it would take is to clean it out.  Get back down to the basics, organize.  We need to figure out what’s important. Get rid of things that aren’t working, polish the ones that are.

And while I was thinking about this, and working on getting some matters “cleaned up”, I was having lunch with some friends of mine and Christy threw out this gem. “You have to keep people in your life who encourage you to grow.”

And how true that was too.  It actually helped me make my mind up on one particular issue I was having.  When people stop growing, they become stagnant, stuck in the same routines, the same problems, the same situations, until they learn whatever it is they need to learn.  If they ever do.

It was like when I was single.  I was stuck in the same situations, repeating the same actions over and over and of course getting the same results.  When I learned what I needed to learn, it was time for something new. And now that I’m in a relationship, I’m learning so many new things.  I’m learning about me, about compromise, and about communication.  In many ways, I’m growing.

And in some ways, maybe I’m actually learning to listen in the process. 🙂

Here’s to cleaning, growing, and listening!


I’m out!

Small Things

I’m not a Michael Jackson fan, I have to confess.  Haven’t been for years. He simply became too eccentric for me. But, in the days since his passing, I’ve listened to the radio stations play music from him that I haven’t heard in years. I’ve heard “Beat It”, “Thriller”, “Billie Jean”.  And my favorite, “The Man in the Mirror”.

That’s probably the first time I’ve heard it in my thirties.  When I heard it as an adult, I thought of how true this song is.  How many times do we see a homeless person and just walk on by, caught up in our own lives and our own problems?”

I’ll be the first to confess that I am guilty of this.  I’ll see a homeless person, think, “What a shame” and go on about my merry way, thinking of groceries that need to be bought, bills that need to be paid.  And it doesn’t strike me as ironic that these “problems” that I’m so caught up in and stressed about are problems that this person I just passed would love to have?

Not only do I not stop enough to count my blessings, I haven’t done anything in years to make a positive change in the area around me.  Yes, I teach, and that probably makes a small impact, but when was the last time I volunteered in a food kitchen, gave to a homeless shelter, or other worthwhile cause? Or really did something to make someone else feel better?

I think we get caught up in our own lives and think things should be changed, but we always expect someone else to do it.  We think that’s someone else’s job.  But really, Michael’s right.  It starts with the Man (or Woman) in the Mirror.

It starts with us.

Mother Theresa said, “We cannot do great things.  We can only do small things with great love.” 

So, I’m committing myself to do one small thing a week this month. What small things?  I’m not sure yet.  I may buy a few extra groceries and throw them in the Food Bank donation box on my way out.  I may check off that “Share the Light” box on my utility bill and help out someone who can’t afford their light bill this month.  Or I was watching the morning news last week and the council for the elderly needed box fans to help keep our elderly cool.  Or I may just do all three.

All small things. 

And I’m challenging you to do the same.  Do one, two, three, four, or however many small things.  Forward this blog, challenge a friend.  And tell us your stories.  What small thing did you do?


I’m out!

All Work and No Play

I was reading a magazine article recently.  It said one of the biggest misconceptions women have about what their lives should be is that their lives should be balanced. And I have to agree.  The more I try to balance my life, the more UNBALANCED it becomes. And the more frustrated I get.

I was thinking about that today.  Most of you know I work two jobs.  I have a full time teaching job and I work part time as a bartender. Usually on the weekends, but lately, I’ve been working double shifts on Saturdays.

Try balancing two jobs, being a single mom, a girlfriend, a housekeeper, a teacher, a sister, a daughter, a friend, and any other hat I wear.

It cannot be done. 

Something suffers.  It may be the housework, it may be that those papers don’t get graded until another day, or that dinner isn’t always home cooked. 

And what happens to me in the process?

I get worn out.  I’ve never been able to find balance so reading this article was like a godsend to me.  I realized that I’ve been searching for the Holy Grail, and let me tell you, my search is more Monty Python than reality.

So last week, I work my five days at my teaching job, work Saturday night, then get up this morning already thinking of all I need to get done.

It was enough to make me pull my hair out.  I needed to clean the kitchen, finish painting the cabinets, do laundry, the list goes on and on.

You know what I did?

I chucked my mental list into my mental trashcan and hit the road. 

I went to the flea market, browsed around.  Went to Lowe’s and bought some vegetables for my new little veggie garden, went and visited with some friends.  And on my way back, another friend called and asked me to meet her at the festival. 

So  I went.

I had a blast.  I was sitting there relaxing, listening to the good music and feeling the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and I realized I don’t take enough time to do that.  I go and I go and I go until I poop out and can’t go anymore.

I wear myself out.  And I know I’m not the only one who does this. 

I was reading my little devotional book earlier and it said man (and I’m assuming woman) wasn’t meant to work all the time.  That we needed breaks to rejuvenate ourselves.  What a timely lesson that is for me.

I need to take breaks for me.  So that I don’t wear myself out.

After all, the old adage is true…..All work and no play makes Alisha a very dull (and a very tired) old girl.

So, I made a decision today.  This week, I am going to finish those cabinet doors.  And then, we’re packing up the Saturn and hitting the road.  We’re packing the tents, the ice chests, and heading out.  Where we end up who knows.  All I know is I’m going to take some time to relax.  To enjoy some sun.  Maybe do some crabbing and shrimping and have a big old boil right on some beach. 

I’m excited already.

For now, I’m off to rub some aloe on this sunburn I acquired today.  It was well worth it. 🙂

Peace ya’ll!

Here’s to a great week!

I’m out!


I remember a post I wrote a long time ago about my dog Sammie. Sammie loves to hunt outside. She will spend hours outside with her nose to the ground hunting something. I’ve gone outside I don’t know how many times trying to figure out what it is that she was hunting. I’ve never figured it out. And I don’t think Sammie has either. At one time I compared my hunt for a relationship to Sammie’s search. I was searching for something but not quite sure what it was, and not quite sure what I would do with it if I ever caught it.
And it’s true.
Like Sammie, I was unsure of what it is I was looking for, and I was unsure of what to do with it when I found it. And it’s been a little bit of an adjustment to me lately while I’ve had to figure out just what it is I want to do with this relatively new relationship I’ve found myself in.
Relationships are not easy. I told someone the other day that being in a relationship is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Ironically enough.  I never thought that being single would be easier. But it is.  Is it better? It depends. In my case? It’s not. A good relationship is worth it.
This idea was reiterated when I heard someone say that you choose to love someone and you choose to stay in a relationship. She said that sometimes she thought it would be much easier to walk away than stay and work it out. This was coming from someone who had been in a relationship with the same person for years. 
I was hanging out with some friends of mine the other night, and one of my friends told me that she had never seen me look as good as I did that night. And I attributed a little of that to my relationship. She did too. I’m going to be cheesy for a moment and say that it’s been a long time since I’ve been this happy.
Yes, relationships are hard work, but a good relationship is worth it. It takes good communication, a lot of trust, and a willingness to compromise.  And maybe the hardest thing for me is that willingness to compromise. For a long time, I’ve had the attitude of “it’s my way or the highway” but that doesn’t work in a relationship. And it’s probably one of the harder lessons I’ve had to learn.
It’s about priorities. You make that person a priority and they do the same for you.
It’s quite refreshing actually.
And worth the effort when the effort is returned. 🙂
Here’s to great relationships and spring break and Easter! Let us not forget the true reason for this holiday!
I’m out!

You Might Want Some Wine With This Cheese Part II

Well, five days until Valentine’s Day. It’s a perfect day to continue my cheesy love songs post. And speaking of Valentine’s Day gifts, what are some of your favorite gifts you’ve received, or even given for that matter? As of right now, I have no clue what I’m getting for my Valentine. And if I did, I wouldn’t post it. Who knows which of my posts he reads. If he reads any of them at all. J
Hmmmm…… I guess I have some thinking/shopping to do……

For now, I’ll continue my Top Ten Cheesy Song List

5. “Crazy for You” by Madonna

“Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I’m deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you’ll see “
Puh-leeeze…Does this really happen? And yet, I still know every one of these lyrics.

4. “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias
“(Whispered) Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?
Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?”
This is the only song on my list that truly makes me want to hurl with it’s over-top-sugary-sweetness. Would I tremble if he touched my lips? ROFL….. Jeesh.
3. “From Here to Eternity” by Michael Peterson
“I saved a year for this ring
I can’t wait to see
How it looks on your hand
I’ll give you everything that one woman needs
From a one woman man
I’ll be strong I’ll be tender a man of my word
I will be yours.”
Now, this one is a little less well known than the others, but omygod it always makes me sappy. I think I even tear up a little. Well, maybe I exaggerate just a little. But it always gets an “Awwwww” outta me.

2. “To Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks
“When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I’d go hungry, I’d go blind for you
I’d go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain’t nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love”
Every time I hear this song I think of Harry Connick, Jr. in Hope Floats. That man can feel my love any day.  But, is it cheezy? “I’d go hungry, I’d go blind for you?” Yep. That’s pretty darn cheezy.

1. “Open Arms” by Journey

“Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you’ve come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay”
There’s no way you can have any kind of top love song list without including this song. Cheesy or not. It is simply one of the best love songs there is. In my opinion anyway, and it’s my list so there. You can’t help but get a little starry eyed when you hear those first few notes on the piano and Steve Perry starts with….”Lying beside you, here in the dark, feeling your heartbeat with mine….” Everyone who knows this song and loves it is singing it by the time it gets to “So now I’ll come to you…..”
I think that would make the hardest heart melt, if only just a little bit. J

And that concludes Alisha’s Top Ten Cheesiest Songs.

Feel free to disagree. Feel free to add your own. J

For now, I’m off to burn me a cheezy song CD.

Here’s to Valentine’s Day, cheese, and great music. Well, except for the “Hero” song.
I’m out!

You Might Want Some Wine With This Cheese Part I

Ahhhh…..Valentine’s Day…..
The stores are already stocking the roses, soft cuddly teddy bears, the chocolate, the sweet and sappy cards.
And my usually well controlled cheesy side is running rampant. I have stars in my eyes. I sigh at the silly romantic commercials (Every kiss begins with Kay). It’s just downright ridiculous.
I’m a sap. I’ll admit it. I can’t help myself.
I guess there could be worse things I can be.
So, to satisfy my sappy side, I’ve decided to dedicate this blog to Valentine’s Day and romance in general.
Another one of my musical blogs. 🙂
This one?
Alisha’s Top Ten Sappiest Songs
Here’s a look at the first five.

10. “This Year’s Love” by David Gray
“This years love had better last
Heaven knows it’s high time
And I’ve been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can’t go on”

9. “She’s Got A Way” by Billy Joel
I must be a sucker for simple vocals accompanied by piano.
“She comes to me when I’m feelin’ down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She’s got a way of showin’
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin’
She’s got a light around her
And ev’rywhere she goes a million
Dreams of love surround her ev’rewhere”



8. “Look at You Girl” by Chris Ledoux
Chris Ledoux was highly underrated in my opinion. This is probably one of the simplest and sweetest love songs ever.
“Just look at you, girl
Standin here beside me
Starlight on your hair
Lookin like a dream I dreamed somewhere”

7. “Hypnotize the Moon” by Clay Walker
Country music is synonymous with sap. The song and the video have always been favorites of mine.
“You better run for cover
You better hide your heart
‘Cause once you start to love her
You know you’ll never stop
She shines like a diamond
When she walks into a room
She could charm the stars
Hypnotize the moon.”

6. “Total Eclipse of the Heart”
“Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I’ve got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes”

And the list continues…..My next blog will be the top five sappiest songs. Feel free to add your suggestions.
For now, I’m off to get get some stuff done before we head to see Jr. Melancon play today in Scott. No Whiskey River today my friends, me, Ian, and the Sunday crew are breaking out and checking out something new.
Here’s to sappy music and Sunday afternoons.
I’m out!



I’m reading a book right now. Yeah, I do still read every now and then 🙂 Not nearly as much as I used to. I just have a really hard time finding stuff to read that interests me.

I picked up a book yesterday, Red River. It’s by the same author who wrote Cane River, Lalita Tademy. I LOVED Cane River. It was a semi-fictionalized account of the Tademy from slavery to freedom. It was incredible. I just started Red River, but it’s already hooking me. 

I was reading last night while Keith and Ian watched a scary movie. For someone who used to watch every scary movie that came out when I was a teen, I’m sure a wimp now. I can’t even read a scary book anymore. Jeesh.

Anyway, I digress yet again. The book is set in the 1800’s, and the opening scene is the woman getting up an hour earlier than the man to cook breakfast and get the household going before he got up to work the farm.

I thought of how times have changed. Even since my grandparent’s time. I can remember staying the night with my grandma and grandpa and she’d get up and cook him breakfast and he’d get up when it was ready. Of course, by then he was retired so he would have his breakfast then go visit with his buddies.

My other set of grandparents were not that different. My Grandma still gets up and cooks breakfast and they work the cows and all that farm stuff.
Two generations later, I’m barely making it out of the door in time to go to work. Breakfast? What’s that? That’s that meal I sometimes cook on Saturdays or Sundays.

My mom is an awesome mom. She had and still has dinner on the table at a certain time a good majority of the time. Dad walks in at around four-four thirty and comes to the dinner table. It’s ready and waiting.

I tried to fit this mold that I grew up with. Trying to keep the house spotless and a home cooked dinner on the table. What did I get?

Frustration and disappointment. Feeling that I couldn’t be a Supermom because I couldn’t cook every night, or couldn’t get the house spotless all the time.


Single mom here.

I’ve had to make a conscious effort to teach myself to cut myself some slack. So what if dinner is from a box? There’s food on the table, isn’t there? So what if the house isn’t spotless? There’s a roof over our heads, that I bought myself by the way.

It’s impossible to do two roles perfectly all the time. To be the breadwinner and the care-taker.I think that like me, a lot of women get upset with themselves because we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect; the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect professional, the perfect friend. And we can’t. Number one we can’t be perfect. Number two we can’t possibly be everything to everybody. Something will suffer in the process.

It’s about balance. That’s another lesson I’ve had to learn. I can’t go out every night and still do a decent job in my career. But I can’t put in 50 hours of work each week and expect to have any kind of life, socially or with my family. But, I can go out a couple nights a week, cook dinner and clean house a few nights a week, and grade papers or make parent phone calls a couple nights.

See, B-A-L-A-N-C-E.

Something I’ve never been very good at. 
Does that make me a Supermom?

I don’t know.

Sometimes I think that in my next life I’d like to be a housewife. I’d like to get up, cook breakfast, get the kids off to school, clean the house, all that good stuff. And then sometimes, I think that I would go insane.

Who would I talk to?

I don’t know. My life is what it is and to be honest, I quite like it. No use wondering what might have been or what might happen.

And if I can get dinner on the table a few nights a week, and keep the cops from breaking down my door after mistaking my house for a crack house, I think I’ve done a pretty good job.

Maybe I’m not a Supermom, maybe I’m just a mom doing the best I can. 🙂 And maybe that’s what we’re all doing.

For now, I’m off to have some breakfast.

Here’s to all the Supermoms out there. All of the moms doing the best they can.
I’m out!